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{Kitten is scurrying this way and that trying to multitask and failing mesieribly.}
My Econ class starts Monday and I have so many things to do. Thakfully I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have come to realize that alot of this drama between James and I is mainly my fault. When I don't have something that keeps me occupied most of the time then I get to thinking, which isn't always good. I think once I start my class and I'm busy most of the time I would have all this time to think.
But speaking of James, our relationship has changed somewhat, or maybe it is just starting to be the way we wanted it. This is an open relastionship. He sees other people and if the oppertunity persents itself I will too. When I was younger I never understood why people had open relationships. I do now. He has his own life and I have mine. Our circumstances do not premit it to have a normal relationship and of course we are both going to meet other people who we connect with. This relationship has always been open but rather one sided because I never really thought about me seeing anyone even though I knew he was seeing other people. I wasn't jealous but I felt it would be like cheating if I seen another guy.Ok, I'm telling myself I can see other people but deep down, honestly, I would still feel guilty. Damn it I don't want to feel this way... I don't want to be be in love. Life is so unfair and lying to yourself doesn't work:(
Not much else has been going on of late. I've been busy, Bri's been busy, Aurora you're always busy. We'll I'll talk to yu all next week :)
awwww *hugs my big sis* I'm so sorry I understand completely. If I was still in a relationship with my first, I get the feeling I could be in the same boat as you. And I could not handle that. > < I would tell you that you should either forget about him or accept the open relationship, but I know how that is. I've been there. I personally think you're better off finding someone who's more commited, but once again, I've been there, so I know that my opnion won't change anything. Just do what your heart tells you to. No matter what, I will never think less of you regardless of what you decide to do
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