Kitten jumps around from place to place trying to get everything done. I must apologize for not putting up a new picture but I am currentenly on the schools computer and do not hav any saved.
My laptop has a short in its wireless connection which means that I had to order a new one {sighs}. I have been out a laptop for over a week and that, of course means the internet. Hence, why I have not posted anything in a while. I will hopefully be receiving my new laptop today :)
Schools been going well. Moved in Sunday. It went really well considering three hundred and some girls were all moving in at the same time. I was one of the first ones there so I was all finished by 3:30. The rest of the week went well. First Mondaywas, as always, a pain but I got through it. I did find it rather annoying that they made me wait an hour to see financial aid when I do even use it and all the asked me was if I paid cash! Of course I pay cash, what else would I pay in? SO rediculous. Tuesday and Wednesday were my first days of classes. They went really well and I seem to like all my new teacher {the few new ones that I have (Philosophy and Statistics)}. Thursday was went well and today has gone pretty we'll except for the fact that my French class was cancelled and I didn't know about it because I hadn't checked my school email before I went to bed or this morning {sighs} Icould have stayed in my room until 11. That makes me feel so lazy thought. I like getting up and doing things in the morning.
This week is going to be saved for homework, well, what little I'll be able to do since I have to go to work tomorrow until 7:30-12, then at 4 I need to pick up Bri at school and she needs to pack things to take back up, plus we need to go to Wal Mart, Verizon, and AT&T. We're not going to get done until late {cries}. That'll leave me night time to study. Sunday I have to go to Mass, then TH, then back home to break until about 7, then head back up to SMWC. Then I get to study some more. It definetely feels like a school time again.
Lil Sis and I have been having a great time. We took a walk last night and went to the cemetery. It was so interesting seeing how many Sisters, there were. Lil Sis and I tried to find the oldest ones but we could only find ones going back to the mid-1800's. There had to have been some that were earlier than that but we couldn't find them. On the way back we did see an owl in the distance and I think Lil Sis saw a bat in the grave yard.
Somethings you can't see though and Lil Sis and I joking say that we have a ghost named Casper in our room. The other night my phone started ringing all the time and no one was on it;my rosary feel off my desk; plus we were having trouble with several other things. It wasn't scary but kind of funny in a way. We have named our ghost Casper and I'm starting to think that maybe Casper is a kitty ghost with a lot of curosity :)
I talked to James right before I left to move. I feel so... not sure what to say here. I miss him.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Just Random
Kitten has been very busy getting ready to move back into college but I know have everything packed and ready to go. Unfortunately, I now only have five days until I move in, so I'm rather bored at the moment. Last Thursday was my last day of working with Alice, until next summer anyway. I'm stuck up front in the reception area instead of back with Alice on Saturdays like I used to be. I miss that.
Kitten has had a pretty mundane August. Other than the incident related in my last post, nothing really excititing happened. I kind of miss the adrenaline rush... and have been rather bored with out something major happening. I have not, however, gave up on my little project and have been researching/reading away;)
I think that I'm getting sick :( My throat is scratch and my head hurts a little. My father is really sick. Can barely talk, the poor guy. Hope I don't get that bad. I move in Sunday; I can't be sick. There will be too much to do.
Last Friday, my lil sis, her cousin J---, and I went out and did some major shopping. We had a lot of fun and we'll have to make sure that J--- comes with us more often.
My Lil Sis is going to be starting orientation soon :) Good luck!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Confession of a Kitten Part III
{Kitten sit in front of window watching the butterflies and hummering birds go by and reflecting on the past few weeks}
Kitten has been rather busy, too busy, and not all of it has been good type of busy. I think everyone nows that I am no longer seeing James. While this transition has been difficult for me, I don't think I realized just how difficult until just a few days ago.
I started seeing a new guy, "Alan," he was slightly younger than James, and much more of a player, more sophicated, more...everything. I thought he was what I needed. After the appropriate time passed, I figure I would have an open relationship with him. Preferrably with no string attached, but James made me realize that this isn't what I want.
While I have tried to convince everyone that Jame's and mine's relationship was pretty simple, there really was nothing simple about it. I am really in love with him and have been for some time. I wanted it to be just sex, excitment but it wasn't. Things might have started out pretty innocent and simple but they got complicated at some point and time.
For the sake of my lil sis's curosity, I'll go into a little, but not too much detail about "Alan." I met him last summer. He flirted, I firted that was pretty much it. Unlike, most of Jame's friends, I did seen him off and on the past year. James does not like him an he had always made that know. I think that may have been my reason for meeting him about three weeks ago. He called and asked if I wanted to have lunch. I didn't think it would hurt anything so I went and had a good time. Alan was easy to talk to, easy to be with but then again, aren't all players? Yes, I knew he seen alot of women and that he liked to party. He defintely lives life to the fullest. I thought that it would be fun to just flirt, live a little. I would never sleep with him. I have a rule to never be with someone until I have been dating them for a at least 6-8 months. If the guy won't wait...we'll there's plenty of fish in the sea right :)? Anyway, I knew that Alan wouldn't be bothering with me for long, I'm just not his type but there's nothing wrong with having a little innocent fun right?
Well James didn't like that idea. Not too sure how he found out about me seeing Alan but he did and two nights ago a two and half telephone lecture. While I don't care much for being lectured{who does?}, I'm glad he did call there were a lot of things that I didn't know about Alan. He's not the type of guy I want to be around nor should I. My lil sis said the other day that I had a bad habit of putting myself in danger where men are concerned. At first I didn't think so but on second thought, I'm starting to believe she's right. I have done some pretty stupid things where men are concerned. I'm going to try and stop that.
Speaking of making a resolution, I'm no longer planning on seeing guys who are older than 4 years. Other than having a job or being in college, having a car, having good health care/hygine, and decent looks that is all I'm looking for. While the list my seem long, I find it reasonably, espcially if I plan to have a future with him. Now my lil sis, does this make you feel better :)
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Kitten's Views on Relationships
{Kitten struggles to sit up on velvet cushion. It was a long night and Kitten did not get much sleep. Besides being in pain from cramping, Kitten spent the better part of an hour redoing her post.}
This was not the post I had intended to right but after a talk with my Lil Sis I decided to change it. Relationships are hard work and to keep them going you need two things: trust and honest communication. It doesn't matter whether you have relationship with some one you live or someone over the internet. It also applies to both monogomous and open relationships. Without these two things the relationship will probably fall apart.
Trust, you would think, would be a given, but most people have problems with this in many different ways. Some have trouble trusting there partners with other people or visa-verse, their partners have trouble trusting them with other people. These people become jealous and start distrusting there partner {although, sometimes for good reason}. Others, like me, have problems trusting them with feelings, emotions, ect, and therefore do not open up. We "run" whenver we think that we might get hurt emotionally. We need to work through these problems though becaue living in a constant of doubting or "running" takes a toll on the relationship. No one wants to be bogged down in fear, doubt, and worrying.
I was in exclusive, near distance relationship for a year and one long distance-ish, open relationship for a year and half. I made the same trust issue trwice. I would not open up with my true feelings. I am not a jealous person by nature and I had no problems being in an open relationship where we both saw other people. I do however have trust hang ups when it comes to telling people my real feelings. I'm afraid that if I love someone { this only pretains to people I date not friends and family} that they'll hurt me. I think that had I been more with my feelings and truted them, my relationships might have ended better.
So how do you have trust? You have to have honest communication. This goes for whether you're in a monogomous or open relationship and expecially goes if you're in a long distance relationship. Communicating honestly means that you talk about everything that goes, keep you're partner informed, and tell them about how you're feeling. This does not just include how you feel about one another but how you feel about anything that affects you because if you feel strongly enought to let it bother then it will probably affect your relationhip sooner or later.
Honest communication is probably most crucial though when it comes to trust. If you have decided to be in a monogomous relationship but are going out with some one of the opposite sex, that you think your partner might be bother with, tell them. While you shoulde be able to see anyone you want, you need to let your partner know so that there is no hard feelings or suspcions. This also goes if you're feeling insecure. Tell the person that you're feeling insecure and ask what are the "rules, guidelines,whatever you wish to call it" of the relationship. If you're in an open relationship, the parties also need to tell one another what is going on. Don't hide the fact that you're seeing some one. Don't hide the fact that you're attracted to someone else. It is an open relationship so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. But if you don't tell you're partner you are seeing some one else and the they find out, then trust issues will start to be a problem. All in all both parties need to be communicate honestly or other wise one or both are going to be upset and the relationship most likely will not make it.
Probably the third important thing that you need in a relationship is forgiveness. Everyone is human and will make mistakes. Some will be little like forgetting to call one evening others will be big like cheating. Forgiveness sometimes easy to do and sometimes hard but it needs to be done. You shouldn't hold grudges. If you can't forgive them get out of the relationship. It won't do any one any good to go over and over an indescrition or mistake.
This was not the post I had intended to right but after a talk with my Lil Sis I decided to change it. Relationships are hard work and to keep them going you need two things: trust and honest communication. It doesn't matter whether you have relationship with some one you live or someone over the internet. It also applies to both monogomous and open relationships. Without these two things the relationship will probably fall apart.
Trust, you would think, would be a given, but most people have problems with this in many different ways. Some have trouble trusting there partners with other people or visa-verse, their partners have trouble trusting them with other people. These people become jealous and start distrusting there partner {although, sometimes for good reason}. Others, like me, have problems trusting them with feelings, emotions, ect, and therefore do not open up. We "run" whenver we think that we might get hurt emotionally. We need to work through these problems though becaue living in a constant of doubting or "running" takes a toll on the relationship. No one wants to be bogged down in fear, doubt, and worrying.
I was in exclusive, near distance relationship for a year and one long distance-ish, open relationship for a year and half. I made the same trust issue trwice. I would not open up with my true feelings. I am not a jealous person by nature and I had no problems being in an open relationship where we both saw other people. I do however have trust hang ups when it comes to telling people my real feelings. I'm afraid that if I love someone { this only pretains to people I date not friends and family} that they'll hurt me. I think that had I been more with my feelings and truted them, my relationships might have ended better.
So how do you have trust? You have to have honest communication. This goes for whether you're in a monogomous or open relationship and expecially goes if you're in a long distance relationship. Communicating honestly means that you talk about everything that goes, keep you're partner informed, and tell them about how you're feeling. This does not just include how you feel about one another but how you feel about anything that affects you because if you feel strongly enought to let it bother then it will probably affect your relationhip sooner or later.
Honest communication is probably most crucial though when it comes to trust. If you have decided to be in a monogomous relationship but are going out with some one of the opposite sex, that you think your partner might be bother with, tell them. While you shoulde be able to see anyone you want, you need to let your partner know so that there is no hard feelings or suspcions. This also goes if you're feeling insecure. Tell the person that you're feeling insecure and ask what are the "rules, guidelines,whatever you wish to call it" of the relationship. If you're in an open relationship, the parties also need to tell one another what is going on. Don't hide the fact that you're seeing some one. Don't hide the fact that you're attracted to someone else. It is an open relationship so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. But if you don't tell you're partner you are seeing some one else and the they find out, then trust issues will start to be a problem. All in all both parties need to be communicate honestly or other wise one or both are going to be upset and the relationship most likely will not make it.
Probably the third important thing that you need in a relationship is forgiveness. Everyone is human and will make mistakes. Some will be little like forgetting to call one evening others will be big like cheating. Forgiveness sometimes easy to do and sometimes hard but it needs to be done. You shouldn't hold grudges. If you can't forgive them get out of the relationship. It won't do any one any good to go over and over an indescrition or mistake.
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