Confession of a Kitten Part III

{Kitten sit in front of window watching the butterflies and hummering birds go by and reflecting on the past few weeks}

Kitten has been rather busy, too busy, and not all of it has been good type of busy. I think everyone nows that I am no longer seeing James. While this transition has been difficult for me, I don't think I realized just how difficult until just a few days ago.

I started seeing a new guy, "Alan," he was slightly younger than James, and much more of a player, more sophicated, more...everything. I thought he was what I needed. After the appropriate time passed, I figure I would have an open relationship with him. Preferrably with no string attached, but James made me realize that this isn't what I want.

While I have tried to convince everyone that Jame's and mine's relationship was pretty simple, there really was nothing simple about it. I am really in love with him and have been for some time. I wanted it to be just sex, excitment but it wasn't. Things might have started out pretty innocent and simple but they got complicated at some point and time.

For the sake of my lil sis's curosity, I'll go into a little, but not too much detail about "Alan." I met him last summer. He flirted, I firted that was pretty much it. Unlike, most of Jame's friends, I did seen him off and on the past year. James does not like him an he had always made that know. I think that may have been my reason for meeting him about three weeks ago. He called and asked if I wanted to have lunch. I didn't think it would hurt anything so I went and had a good time. Alan was easy to talk to, easy to be with but then again, aren't all players? Yes, I knew he seen alot of women and that he liked to party. He defintely lives life to the fullest. I thought that it would be fun to just flirt, live a little. I would never sleep with him. I have a rule to never be with someone until I have been dating them for a at least 6-8 months. If the guy won't wait...we'll there's plenty of fish in the sea right :)? Anyway, I knew that Alan wouldn't be bothering with me for long, I'm just not his type but there's nothing wrong with having a little innocent fun right?

Well James didn't like that idea. Not too sure how he found out about me seeing Alan but he did and two nights ago a two and half telephone lecture. While I don't care much for being lectured{who does?}, I'm glad he did call there were a lot of things that I didn't know about Alan. He's not the type of guy I want to be around nor should I. My lil sis said the other day that I had a bad habit of putting myself in danger where men are concerned. At first I didn't think so but on second thought, I'm starting to believe she's right. I have done some pretty stupid things where men are concerned. I'm going to try and stop that.

Speaking of making a resolution, I'm no longer planning on seeing guys who are older than 4 years. Other than having a job or being in college, having a car, having good health care/hygine, and decent looks that is all I'm looking for. While the list my seem long, I find it reasonably, espcially if I plan to have a future with him. Now my lil sis, does this make you feel better :)