The Mysterious Encounter

{Kitten scurries into blog, slipping and sliding as she goes in her haste.}

I was supposed to tell about my about my night with Christina, and I shall, but I must tell you about an interesting and unsettling experience that I had earlier this afternoon.

Breaha and went out for a walk at about 6ish. Sportland Park was so full so we decided to go to Sacared Heart. There were a few highschool guys there but we didn't pay them any attention and they didn't pay us any attention. We stayed there for about 45 minutes but Bri-chan started to feel sick, so we left. We walked down the alley which is rather on a steep hill. At the botton, we meet a white big Mercury(I think) and it had three rather good looking guys in probably, their early to mid twenty. They stopped the car when they seen us. I first thought that they were just letting us by. Then, the one guy in the back sit stuck his head out the window, waved me with his hand, and told me to come here. I just stared at him. I had a really uneasy feeling. He told me to come here again. I ran over to Bri and we went on. The guys didn't say anything again but procedded up the alley.

Bri didn't think it was such a big deal but it freightened me. The way he looked at me, the way he commanded me... I got this really bad vibe. I didn't now then and if they wanted directions or something, why not just ask me from where I was standing, I was close enough, they wouldn't have had to yell. Actually, the guy was so quite that Bri didn't even here him. There was no reason why I had to come up to the car. So, with that and the bad vibe, could their intentions have been less then honorable?

On the other hand, none of the guys in the car, including the one who spoke to me, said anything crude. He didn't try to get out of the car when I ran across the street. So maybe my imgination and shyness got the better of me? In this case, I'm glad I'll never find out.

An Extremely Tired Kitten

{Kitten tries so very hard to keep her little eyes open but it is all to no avail. Falls down in front of keyboard but scurries to type memo}

Kitten had a very interesting time at Christina's but I'm just tuckered out to tell you all that was a foot. I was up until 4 am

{Kitten trips, falls off keyboard, makes it over to velvet cushion and falls fast asleep.}

A Rather Mellow Day for Kitten

General

Kitten has decided to start blogging a little earlier. I've been waiting till closer to night-time and have been putting off ma francais, which is not the way to learn it:)

{Kitten yawns and streches her little back and legs. "So tired"} I really don't have that much to write today.

Let's see, my father is insisting that I take a medical terminology course. I know the reason why, but, come on, I'm an accouting major. I could be using that time to work on more important things.

James

I got a call and an email from James last night. He wants to see me. I'm so torn. This is over and I just wish he would let it go. He has several girlfriends, who are all more his taste. Our relationship just doesn't work and never will. He's the reason why Kitten got no sleep last night. I miss him. Would some one please hit me and tell to grow up? While I told my story of how we meet and what we did last summer, I never said why and how we ended it. Maybe later this week.

Readers

Kitten is surprised. She seems to have a few readers. Over the past few weeks I have recieved some very interesting emails and thanks for your interest. Well, welcome thanks for reading and feel free to email or comment. {Kitten rubs against visitors}

French

Getting back to my French homework, which is what I really should be doing, I'm rather running behind. Too many workbooks and not enough time{sighs} I wish there was actually a French class I could take but unfortunately there isn't. I have negelected my other blog, which happens to be in French. I will right a post in it tonight.

News

will be posted tonight

Kitten's Emotional Ponderings and The Project

{Kitten is sitting dejectedly by her window, with the rain pouring down outside. She starts singing, "Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day.}

Kitten is thoughtful today. Breaha was happy that I shared my secret with her. She read the post where I was a little annoyed with her about three weeks back. I thought that I had taken the post down but I apparently, didn't. She felt bad and I do have to apologize because she wasn't the only person I was mad at the that day. In my numerous English Comp classes, I was always taught that the reader will usually remember what the last point/arguement is more than the others because it is the last thing that he reads. Well, Breaha was the last person that day to upset me so, I took all my flustrations out on her. Sorry Bri.

It did start me to think though. Everyone handles their emotions in a different way. Some are very honest(at times brutually honest) and show and tell whatever their feelings are. Others, let some of their emontions out but keep some back. There are some who hide their emontions and find other ways to release them (like me, through writing). Finally, there are people who just don't deal, with their emontions at all.

I envy the people who just tell it like it is. They may care about the other person and not want to her their feeling but they still tell them when their mad/sad/upset. In the end, it is this type of person who probably has the best relationship. They don't let problems fester. They just get it out there in the open and deal with it. Bri, I put you in this catagory and I so envy you. {Kitten pouts and swishes her tail, annoyed at herself}

Many people fall into the catagory of letting some emotions out but still hiding others. This is probably the second best way to deal with emotions. Tell what you're feeling most of the time but allow little and secrecy with some things. The only probably with hiding emotions is that they have a tendency to fester and agitate as time goes on.

Now here we are to my catagory. Yes, I'm one of those people who don't deal with emotions that much on the surface. I have trouble sometimes, expressing myself verbally. I do deal with my emotions though, by writing. This, however, is not the only way to get emotion out. Some work with music, others are into the arts. In my little opinion, this is not the best way to deal with things but it works. The biggest draw back is that the person(s) bother you might never know that your upset. Therefore problems are not always solved.

Finally, there are people who just do not deal with emotion/feelings at all. This is always very, very bad. You need to get emotions out in one way or another. Whether it is by telling the person directly, by talking to someone outside the situation, or by writing, music, danse,ect. The people who are upsetting you don't know you're hurt and you have these feelings that just don't go away becuase they are not being resolved.

My Little Project

Now, moving on to other things I have been working more on my summer research project on the sex industry, primarily, escorting. I have read many interesting comments from people on the subject but I stumbled upon a blog that really touched me. It was about a woman who is a mistress. She just blogged about her trials of seperating her emotions from her "work" and clients. In a strange way, I can relate to her, but not on her level, exactly. I have never been an escort or a mistress(although...Bri, be quite, I know what you're about to say;). The way I could relate to her was that she had everything but was still dissatified. I have a lot of things but it never seems to be enough. There's all ways something out there I want and at times, I don't even know what it is. Most peopel feel that way, though, so I'm not quite in the boat alone.

The thing I found most interesting about the blog was that she kept saying how liberating it was to be an escort. She didn't need the money, although I'm sure the money was a driving factor. It was the thrill, the excitiment, the rush. She was doing something taboo, saying to hell with society, and being completely independent. I wish I had her courage. It's too bad she hasn't updated her blog in about four years. It would have been really good

To Breaha: Confessions of a Kitten

{Kitten raises her cute little furry head at the sound of a familar footfall and get's up to give her best friend attention. Purring and rubbing up againt Bri with welcoming attention}

Kitten went to her best friends graduation today. Breaha has been one of my best friends since I can remember. We have went through a lot of things together (first crushes, first loves, breakups, other friends, family problems) but I realized that I have a whole another life that Breaha doesn't know about, or atleast not much.

Well, Bri, here's my sordid little story;) Now before I begin my narrative I need to state somethings. There are many thing that I have done that I'm not proud of. I know you're not religous but I try to be. A lot of what I have done I regret mostly for religous reasons and is the main reason why I have ended things with James. I don't want to feel like a hypocrite anymore. I know that you don't agree with a lot of the Catholic dogma and doctrine but I know that you know the importantance of following your conscience and doing what you, not other people believe what is right. These are all my dirty little secrets. Now we are even. No secrets between friends:)

The Meeting

As you know Bri, James and I met in Chicago at the Palmer House. I wa 18 and he was 42 but I didn't know it at the time. Actually, I orginally had his age at about 35. I was bored and mom had already went to bed but it was only 8 pm. Not ready to turn in I went down to the pool. James was the only one down there, we wound up talking. I'm not going to bore you with the maundane details of what we talked about. He asked me to dinner the next day and I went. Mom always goes to bed so early it was easy to slip away unnoticed. We exchanged cell phone numbers and email address.

Nothing happened for all most a year. My senior was innocent, pretty much. I had my little fling with Brian and we both now how that tunred out. Actually, it was James who pushed me to break with him. When I told James how Brian acted when I mentioned him, James got very concerned and told me that Brian sounded too dangerous for me. He was really there for me when I was going through that break up. Not that you weren't their for me, Bri{Kitten gives Breaha a big hug}. It's just that you both were there for me in differen ways.

What I Really Did Last Summer

Things really started to heat up between James and I last summer, after I had gone through those damned summer classes. I was feeling a little lost and I was a little out of control, although you never seen me when I was like that. No one ever knew that I was sneaking off to see a guy between my shopping trips with you and my long days at home. I was surprised, I thought I would be found out. It seemed so exciting.

It was in July that I first started sleeping with James. Before him, I had never really cared that much about sex but with James it was so tender and erotic. I was confident in himself which made me confident. When the guy feels unconfortable with the way he looks or performs then it makes me uncomfortable also. I'm not going to overshare here but suffice to say that he really brought me out of my shell where the bedroom is concerned.

We also went places together. He took me to England, France, and Mexico. Remember when everyone kept asking me if I would nervous when I left at Christmas to go to Mexico for Intercambio. Everyone thought that it was the first time out of the country{Kitten smiles mischievously} it wasn't, which was why I wasn't nervous. That and James was at the Cancun airport to meet me.

You might me asking yourself, "How did she manage to do this?" Well, it wasn't that hard really. While we(you and I) went out once a week, there were a few weeks inbetween where we didn't go out. It was during those few weeks that I went off globe trotting. As for mom, I told her some lame story that she knew was a lie but I was of legal age (19) and she just trusted that I knew what I was doing.

But wait. I said I went a little wild and having a little tete-a-tete with an older man isn't all that while. {Ok Bri, I know your shaking your heading and disagreeing with me but be a good audience and play along;) } It didn't do anything all that wild guess. I did get pretty close to being drunk a few times. I flirted (playfully, mind you) with a few very handsome men, who, rumor has it, have very shady pasts. I also did something else but I feel so ackwarded saying it which I don't know why. It's actually really funny. Maybe I'll tell you in private. It was what I considered one of my most wildest things I have done;)

All right Bri, there it is, with the exception of one little thing, here are all my secrtes. Rereading what I wrote, it doesn't sound all that exciting but I'll leave the judgement up to you.

{Kitten flicks her tail in goodbye and dissapears around the corner.}

Kitten's Worried

Kitten has had a rather good day but has just heard some worrying news. About two weeks ago I wrote that one of my favorite and most helpful blogs went to invited people only. I thought that she just wanted some privacy, which is perfectly understadable. Livvy lives a very intersting life and needs a little privacy. Well, I was just visiting another blog and one of other Livvy's frequent commentors asked what ha happened to her. The respons was that she was worried about Livvy and had written her but had heard nothing. They think it was a person who had been stalking her for some time. Maybe this woman just got to much for Livvy to handle. I really hope Livvy is all right. It might seem silly but I started to think of her as a friend. I can honestly say I never met (well, not actually met in the literal sense) anyone like her. I thought about writing her an email but if she hasn't resonded to any of the others, that probably means she just wants to be left alone. Maybe she blog again after she sorts through all her stuff but I just hope that she's ok.

Kitten sigh and flops down on velvet pillow to take an nap.

Kitten's Emontional Rollercoaster

Kitten is feeling better than she was this morning. The first part of my day didn't start off too good. I was actually considering just walking away... I got over what was upsetting me and now I'm fine. I just wish school would start again so I would have things to keep me occupied most of the time.

Today is such a beautiful day. I should be out going for a walk. I might but I have to get on Facebook and see if Breaha is free. I hate walking bymyself. It makes me feel vulnerable for some reason.

I recieved my powerpoint from the Intercambio trip from January. I was nice to finally get it. That was what actually made my day. Don't know why, silly right?