An Odd Day

{Kitten streches out in front of window as the birds go flying by. Thinking...}

Kitten is in an odd mood today. Nothing bad happened today but something is off. I hate this feeling. It's not restlesness or discontenment; it's just there.

Of Religion

I have been reflecting though, on religious matters{rubs tail over head to try and rid herself of her headache} I've been feeling rather guility about the way my life has been going. I'm sure it's not what God wants but is it wrong for me not to regret what I've done. After all, if we didn't make mistakes, how would we ever learn.

Besides, it was may mistakes that have made me who I am. There are a few people (no, not you Bri) that would agree that the person I am now isn't that great. Some might even argue that I have completely turn away from the Catholic faith.

First off, I have made my mistakes and I do consider them mistakes, although, I don't regret making them. I say this because over the past year I have become much more open minded about things and have come to respect other people's opinion, even though I may not agree with them. After all, somewhere in the New Testament, Christ did say, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I have no right to judge others and there actions anymore than they do me. They only person I should be judging is myself because I can only answer for myself. Being around James and the people he knew made me see that I can still like people, be friends with them, even though we do not have the same beliefs. In my research with mistresses{ and escorts}, I started to see even more clearly, that people are so uniquely individual and are motivated by some many different things{and not all ways the obvious things either} that no one is truly good or truly bad. Another thing my research, and well my own predicament showed me, was that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Your best and oh so innocent, life-long friend my be a mistress to a unkown man; While an escort/ prostitute/ courtesan might be motivated by reasons other than the obvious. You never know what drives people; why they think the way they think, why they do the things they do, why they make the mistakes that they make. Ww need to think anout things like this but not judge what they do. Who's to say we haven't done worse?

So, how does this relate back to my afore mentioned topic of religion? Because of my experinces, I have leanred atleast one valuable lesson and hopefully, this will help make me a better Catholic. I have lost my way and I need to find my way back now but somethings are not that simple. Somethings take a lot of time and this will.

At the Courthose...

On a more annoying note, I was at the court house today taking taxes up for my father and his wife on numerous properties that they hold. While I was wating for the girl to finish up, I noticed she kept looking at me off and on. After a while she leaned over to the other woman, put the paper she was working on over her mouth to try and sheild her words, and asked her if I was his daughter. The other woman nodded. This rather annoyed me. She could have at least waited until I was out of the building to ask, or atleast after I had left the desk and not right in front of me. I'm not bothered by the fact that they knew who my father was, I look like him. I have his face structure, eye color, and hair color. I don't even care that people know I'm his bastard daughter, I just wish people showed more courtesy{sighs} people have no manners.