Finals Week

Finals are coming up and this Kitten is not happy about it. Tomorrow is study day, thankfully. I have my Management Final at 10. Then I have my scary Accounting. On Friday I have the dread Statistics final at 1. Then, to celebrate the ending of the first term, my Lil Sis and I are going out do some shopping :) Kitten's got to go and get her beauty's sleep.

A Boring Saturday

Kitten is rather bored today. Saturday's are usually not that exciting. I have work from 7:30-1:00, then work down in my hometown for awhile, Mass from 4:15-5:15, then homework. Alas, I'm afraid that my Lil sis usually has much more fun on Saturdays then me.

The rest of today, from 5:30 on, is going to be devoted to Systems Anaysis and Design. I have three assignments that need to get done but the second I am a little stechy about. I might email Lana tomorrow and make sure that was the right one before I do it. I would email her tonight but I doubt she would get back with me.

Kitten is sad. Tomorrow is Sunday which means that this little kitten has to get her tail back to dorn:( I don't want to! Why can't it be two weeks from now and all the finals were over with? That would make me so happy. Well, I guess it is just two more weeks.

The only final I have to worry about is Statistics. That's my only cumulative final and its not going to be fun, either. I think the professor said the test usually took about 2 1/2 hrs. Some one shoot me now and put me out of my mesiery.

Speaking of Stats, that is what Sunday is going to revolve around, getting those projects started and doing the homework which isn't really alot. I have a feeling we are going to be having a test in Stats next Friday. I will be so glad when I am out of it.

I've been feeling so discontent and restless here lately. I don't know why exactly except that I might be suffering from burn out. I haven't been doing much, though, although, that might change over Christmas Break...;)

Black Friday

{Kitten trots into blog loaded down with shopping bags} Today was defintely a good day and I was able to finish up all my Christmas shopping and I was still able to get some things for me.

Mom and I left at 8, which was a lot later than we usually leave. First we went to Kohls, T.J. Max, then Wal-Mart. Kohls was so busy that they had two lines on each side of the store that stretched back to end of the store. I was going to get a clock for my father there but I decided standing in line for an hour to get one item was silly. So I went over to T.J. Max but I could not find anything that he would like. When I went to Wal-Mart I was able to find a clock similar to the one I was going to get him. I was also able to pick up PJ's for my sister-in-law and after shave for my brother. Ater we finished in that area, we stopped at Starbucks and got coffee and took a little break. Then we ventured out to the mall. That I picked up some bath things for various people then I went to Victoria's Secret and treated myself to their new Mircle Bra {very comfy}. I also found an outfit to wear to the Christmas Party and another not so dressy outfit.

I'm finding YouTube very annoying right now. I have had several favorites of mine taken off due to copyright issues. The really annoying thing was that some of them even stated that they did not make the videoa and gave all the required info.

I'm going to take a little break then I need to get to my stats :(

Kitten and Turkey Day

{Kitten waddles into blog after having a little to much to eat :) } Happy Thanksgiving! It's been so nice not to have to go to classes. I have been getting a lot of homework finished, however I still have a long way to go, though.

I'm so excited. Black Friday is tomorrow and you know what that means!? Yes, time to go shopping. I can't really say I get into the Thanksgiving holiday all that much. Oh, we do the regular family get together and have dinner and all that but that isn't the part I like best about this holiday. It's the day after Thanksgiving that gets me excited. I normally hate crowds but I make an exception on Black Friday.

We put up the tree over in one of my father's clinics today but it kind of fell over{oops} Yes the poor old tree just started wobble, then "timber," it almost squashes my kitty Lucky, who decided to come over with us. Mom had to run out to Wal-Marts and buy a new tree. Then we finally got it up.

I'm rather stuck in parts Accounting and Statistics right now. I hate when that happens. Oh, well, I guess I'll be sending out emails tomorrow. Better get to bed. Have to be up 4:00 if we to get the good sales

Kitty's Busy Monday

Kitten is sooo happy. Just Systems Analysis and Design and that silly group project and then I am finished for the day. It actually went faster than I thought it was going to go. My stats test actually went well. I think {Kitten flips worried through stats book to see her answers looked like the examples}

It's such a pretty day out there :) The sun is shining and it's around 55 F, just the right temperature to take a nice little stroll but alas, SA&D, is keeping me from it. I could go now (my class isn't until 6) but my Lil Sis has things she needs to do and I don't want to walk alone. Oh, well, hopefully it will be nice over the Break.

Speaking of homework, I'm not doing any tonight. I'll be working four the next six days, I think I deserve even to myself. I have one novel I would like to read but I'm not sure it would do me to start it seeing as I won't be able to finish it tonight.

Black Friday is getting closer!! Can't wait :)

Random

Kitten is patiently waiting for these next two days to get over with {it's torture :( } Thanksgiving Break is coming up and I just have to get through Monday and Tuesday. Tomorrow is going to be my worst day. I have French from 10-11, then Management from 11-12, lunch at Jazzman's, then Stats( the horrible quiz over normal distribtion is tomorrow) from 1-2, then I have four hours to do my Systems Analysis and Design homework, then I have the class from 6:00-8:30, after that I have a Management meeting at 9. I'm assuming that the meeting is going to be atleast an hour if not two. By the time I get back, it will be all most time to go to bed. Tuesday won't be near thar bad, thankfully. I have Accounting from 9-10:20 then Philosophy from 10:40-12, after that I'm finished and can go home! :)

My lil sis is doing a very interesting project. For her ID class, she and her team are doing a project on pornography vs nudity/erotica. I do see the difference between the two but it could be so subjunctive. There are many things that I view as erotic art but some one else might view as porn. I can't really say I have a particular reasoning for my judgement on whether something is or isn't porn, it more of a gut reaction. It I feel it is arousing but not necessarily crude, then I say it's erotic art. If I find it crude then I say porn, but since people feels and view are different it would be so hard to classify something as porn or erotic art with any definity.

My projects are not near as exciting. In Management we are doing a project comparing Nike and Adidas. In accounting each person has a history of accounting paper and I doing Enron, which I find the most interest of all my current ones. In Stats we're doing hypothesis testing and so I picked the price of accounting test books to conduct my study. In French, I have to do a presentation of politics in France.

My Lil Sis and I had fun when we went out Friday. I was able to do about 75% of my Christimas shopping finished. We went to 8 China and had chinese which is something that we haven't done in months because we have been so busy. I miss going out shopping{I HATE HOMEWORK}. It's such a good stress reliever.

Everyone keeps asking about internships. My advisor has brought it up, several teachers, now my father. I'm planning on doing one but right now I'm so busy I don't know when I'm going to get the time to look for one. That's kind of an excuse but... I know I should. Maybe I'll start my search over spring break.

Well I'd better get back to the studying.

A Quickie

Kitten is so excited. Lil Sis and I are going out shopping! It's been months since we have been out. I've been out shopping but not with my Lil Sis/roommate/best friend.
Lil Sis has to get some dress clothes and I need to start my Christmas shopping. Can't write too much tonight of homework. I'll try to write later next week

Check-In

When I was a little Kitten I used to think that life could be cruel at times. I was worng. Life doesn't care, it's completely unbiased, it just doesn't give a damn.

Now, what's a little Kitten like me doing writing such depressing things? Well no particular reason, really but it was something that my little sis and I had been discussing a while back.

No, the only thing that is being cruel in my life is homework, alas. Yes, that troublesome little thing called homework will not let this little Kitten do much of anything right now. The quarter is about over, thankfully, and the that horrible thing ( yes, the H word will dissapear for 1 whole month :) !!!!!)

I haven't written in almost a month but, alas, it has been unavoidable. When I'm not doing homework, I'm working or reading, or daydreaming, or off in my own little world...;)

I can't believe that this semester is almost over. It doesn't seem possible. While this has been one of the most demanding semesters I've had { which isn't saying much seeing as this is only the 3 rd term I've had in college} next semester going to be a kitty's worst nightmare. I have:

1) Intermediate French, 2) Intermediate Accounting, 3) Accounting Problem Solving and Computers, 4) Securities, 5) Theology, and 6) Business Law.

It's a good thing that this little Kitten doesn't take cat naps or otherwise I would be one unhappy kitty.

Christmas shopping is coming up!!!! I can't wait and since I haven't been able to shop all that much because of time issues ( yes homework again. I know I sound like a broken record), I'm really excited. However, unlike last year, I have no idea what I'm getting several people (Mom and Dad mainly)

Not too much is going on with me of late. Just the same old same old. Need some excitment {cries} so bored. My daily routine goes something like this: get up and get breakfast, remark on how awful the weather is, get dressed and trudge off to class, meet for lunch at Jazzman's, finish classes, come back to the dorm and take a break, do homework, go to dinner, come back and do homework, then, finally go to bed. Sounds so thrilling right {laughs sarcastically}.

My Resolution

Sorry about not posting my regular kitty pics in a while but I have been jumping from laptop to laptop but my new one is in, so next post will feature a kitty :)

Kitten has been slacking of late and feeling...well, a little depressed and sad but not sure quite why. Maybe it's the weather or maybe it's the huge homework load or maybe its just some changes that have been going on, it's hard to say but you know what? I have had enough, I'm going to be happy and I'm going to be more dedicated in my work starting now. After all, what do I really have to be unhappy about? I have everything I could want. I feel like I'm being such a baby. "Poor me, I'm so unhappy." You know what I would say if some actually said that to me? I'd tell them to grow up and get over themselves. That they are being childess and selfish. There's no reason for me to feel this way, and it's going to stop right now. Also, have been slacking and procrastenating of late and it just will not do. I want my homework to be well done and completed on time. Absolutely, no more, Kitten says in a very dramatic growl :)

Everything is going well. Didn't have that great of time at work, though. Some people are soooo rude. There is no reason for it. Anyone can have a civil manner, even if you are sick. The arogance of some people is so flustrating. It just makes you want to scream. I can honestly say that I miss working with Alice and I don't like working as a recepionist. My Principles of Management professor read us an article about the ten most stressful jobs in the US. I think recepionist was fourth.

Little Kitten and I finally got our room all decorated{Kitten says a with a little sacrastic smile since it is half way through the first term and we just now decorated}! It looks so nice. Little Kitten's side has several anime pics up, a motivational poster, some decorative chinese fans, and a few cute and quirky little sign that we bought during the Little Italy Festival. My side, is much more personal then it was last year. I mainly had anime pics up but this year I got creative. I decorated my cork board with things from my collge and my highschool. I also put up several pictures of kittens, two rosaries, some chinese fans, and some papers from graduation. The most creative thing that I did was to take my little New Yorker calendar things and put them on paper. The white part of the paper I colored is so it looked a little pretty and less stuck on. I think the room looks rather nice considering we hadn't planned on it that day and we had little to work with.

I miss James, I had a chance to go to Germany with him over fall break but, alas, schools work intervened and kept us apart. I talked to him Friday and he had a rather interesting propostion...;) Now, no minds in the gutter but however I don't think I'm going to talk about it right now. It sounded exciting though, and my life has been liking excitment of late.

I'm not sure what to do about French. I want to learn the language but it's so hard and I'm feeling very stressed with it right now. My question is, do I do the second part of French or not? I'm running out of time since registration starts next week.

Well, I'll try to post again Tuesday or Wednesday.

Kitten and the Weather

{Kitten dejectedly sits inside computer lab feeling sadden because of the icky and cold weather, trying to concentrate on something} Today has been a rather lousy Monday for Kitten. I did horribley in my French classs but I can only blam myself. I need to get serious about it. Alas, it is so hard though. Kitten are prone to adventure and play not French and Accounting. Speaking of Accounting, I know that I failed the test I tool last week. My adjusting entries were not right and so the closing entries went awry also :(
I want so badly to go with Cowgirl to the Covered Bridge Festival but I just do not have time. I hate to sound complaining but I don't have time to do anything except homework{sighs, sadly}. What happened to free time? Was it just some sort of cruel dream that I had?
Big Sis/Lil Sis Week is coming up which makes me excited however. I get to dress Lil Kitten in costumes and give her presents. You know, I sometimes think that shopping for other is twice as much fun as shopping for yourself. I had fun Friday and Sunday picking out things that I though Lil Kitten might like. It's almost like going on a scavenger hunt; trying to collect all the items.
Well, I need to look over my Stats before class starts. Last!{Kitten jumps up and down excitedly} Then it's over to Jazzman's to get some coffee{I really hope that they have the French Roast today}, and then homework till 6. From 6-8:30, I Systems Analysis and Design, the homework from 9-11, then night-night.
Oh, before I go I want lament over my technological problems that have befallen of late. I believe I have all ready spoken about my new laptop having problems. Well I did get it back only send it right back up to my techicien because it would access the internet. I had to bring my desk top up to the dorm along with my father's laptop(which didn't have Office 2007 so I had to install it}. The desktop had a virus early in the summer and the virus deleted my Office so I had restall it. Now my current problem is that the blasted mouse quit working! Well, then again what was I expecting from a mouse anyway, other than problems;)

My Boring Routine

Kitten drags herself sleepily into the blog, sooo tired. I have been inudated with homework and computer problems for the last two weeks, hence, very little blogging. Mid term is coming up and I'm trying to get everything in. I can't believe that we are almost half way through the first semester. We have been in class for 8 weeks now. The last week in this month we wil have to register for our winter term!
Big Sis/ Lil Sis week is coming up soon also. Two weeks, until I get to torture my Lil Sis ;) She's worried... poor lil kitten. I'm still finishing up getting things, though, and will probably continue through out the next week.
It's getting so cold here and kitten does not like it one bit. I hate the fact that I cannot go out side and take a walk. It's not fair:( I miss summer.
Well, I plan to write more once I get caught up {Kitten laughs sarcastically, right}.

Kitten is feeling very bored and flustrated today. I didn't have any classes because of the funeral, which I thought was good but I'm so damned bored. Little Kitten and I are in our room. She's watching kitten vidoes. I would be tempted just to leave and go somewhere for a little while but I have a philosophy test to prepare for, unfortunately.
You know what I find so irratting here of late. I get to listen about everyone's problems but know wants to here mine. I just want to get out of here for a while. I'm going insane. Same routine day in, day out.

A Quick Entry

{Kitten sits on her window sill watching all the pretty leaves change to vibrant colors as the sun peaks through the clouds}

Kitten is rather mad at mother nature today. The weather has just been dreadful today, while we were in class, but know, that we're stuck inside because of homework, the sun is out and there is a nice breeze. It's not fair!!!!

I have to go to Kenny's funeral tomorrow. Still need to email Frank and see if he can either meet with me tomorrow or tell me what is going to be on the test.

My trial balance is sooo mussed up. It's going to take an hour to go back and see what went wrong. Philosophy went alright and we went over the test. I don't think it is going to be so bad. Well, I hope anyway.

Kitten's Tired Weekend

Kitten must apologize yet again for not posting a kitty pic but, alas, I'm too tired and too lazy to bother with it right now. This has not been the best week for me. I made a lousy{ and I do mean lousy presentation in Philosophy}, was not chosen to be on the case study {even though I won't have time to do the damned thing any way}, and have been doing horrible in French {more so in the oral part}. The only good thing about this week has been that I got 100% in my Statstics.
I want to read a novel so bad it is driving me to distraction! I'm so sick of reading about the different way to implement a decision making plan, the FASB codification, inductive and deductive arguments, and standard deviation I could scream.
The stress is getting to me much earlier than last year. The muscles in my shoulders are so intense, it actually hurts and I have a headache from 5 pm everyday :( This is not fun. The worst part is that I feel guilty when I'm not doing my homework but when I am I feel so tired. Isn't school so much fun {I say with a sarcastic purr}.

Oh well, life goes on right?

A Summary of Kitten Hectic Life

Kitten apologizes for not not posting a kitty pic but I have been rather busy of late with homework{lots of homework :( } I have some much to do my little fuzzy head it spin and I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail because nothing ever really seems to get finished.

I have been rather distant and sad of late. The reasons why are not so important but I can't seem to get rid of this lingering feeling. I don't like this...

My life is rather dull right now. Not too much going on other than a possible case study that I might be working on and a service project that I might be doing over Fall break. The days just will not slow day. I don't want this to go by so quickly. I feel like I'm doing so much but not doing anything at all. Maybe, I'm just getting acculamated to being in school again? After all we were out for 3 1/2 months.

I'm up at the dorm more than usual. I miss my kitties and my family {even though I am only 20 minutes away}. I'm also working on Thursdays this year. Schedule this one day in has been a real challenge. I don't know how people who have regular part time jobs do it. I have a hard enough time working two 4 hour days a week.

My class have been going well, albeit busy. I took my first accounting test and recieved a B in it. My first Stats test didn't go as well unfortunately but I have one tomorrow and I think it will be a lot better. Managment is rather boring but there are times it gets interesting. Test in that next Friday. Intermediate French is so challenging for me! The worst part about it is I just don't have time to give it the proper time required to fully study it. Philosophy is interesting but more demanding than I thought it would be. We did a reductio absurden(not sure if that is spelled right) today on an argument for abortion. I did pretty well, I think about refuting the argument and I think the professor was happy with me. I also have to do a presentation on the types of different deductive arguments Thursday. Systems Analysis and Design has been hard to get into but that might be expected since we have only had the class twice since the term began(three weeks ago). We only have the class on Monday's and we didn't have it last Monday because of Labor Day. There is so much reading in that class. Like 60-80 pages per week {sighs}

I sent an email to my academic adviser and asked to meet with her this week or next week to talk about either adding CIS as a second major or changing to Accounting IS. I think the latter would be more appropriate since I am foremost an accounting major but doing the second would be more difficult since I would have to take it as an individualized major. The college used to offer it but several years ago they did away with pratically all their CIS majors.

I think I am going to start blogging on a regular basis again. I forgot how much of a stress reliever it is, even if I don't have anything important to say. Listening to Japeness, classical, and celtic music with my little sis. I feel so peaceful right now. It's nice, first time in all most a month.

Kitten Second Week of School

Kitten gets up and stretches her slender body. A long day of working and stdying makes a kitty very tired and stiff. The past two weeks have been soooooo hectic. I can't believe the amount of homework that I have nor can I believe the little time that I have to do it in!

In Intermediate Accoutning I have case studies, problems in Wiley Plus, other assigned projects, a test to study for (already!) and a twelve page Sarbanes-Oxley Act paper that I have to research.

Intermediate French has not been so bad, well as far as homework but everyone is so much better than I am. {sighs}. I'll need to study alot to keep up. I actually just finished a French essay about my family just a little while ago.

Management and Systems Analysis and design probably tie for the easiest and most stress less classes. As long as I read the material I think I should do fine.

Philosophy is an interesting class but I really don't want to be taking it. I just have some many other classes that need attention and this professor expects us to send two to three hours perday studing this. Ugh :(

I love the teacher I have for Statistics. She Chinese and so nice but she is a little strict. The class hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be but I took my first quiz Wednesday and I know I didn't do that well. I put the upper bound in front of the lower bound{which is what you are supposed to do}. I also had some difficulty with the different type of sampling.

My social life has been... chaotic. Don't really want to get into it right now and don't really have time. Little Italy Festival is coming up soon. I'm actually a little excited. We're taking two Chinese and one Japanese girl with us Sunday :) I'll try to post something of more interest of the weekend.

A Very Busy Week

Kitten jumps around from place to place trying to get everything done. I must apologize for not putting up a new picture but I am currentenly on the schools computer and do not hav any saved.
My laptop has a short in its wireless connection which means that I had to order a new one {sighs}. I have been out a laptop for over a week and that, of course means the internet. Hence, why I have not posted anything in a while. I will hopefully be receiving my new laptop today :)
Schools been going well. Moved in Sunday. It went really well considering three hundred and some girls were all moving in at the same time. I was one of the first ones there so I was all finished by 3:30. The rest of the week went well. First Mondaywas, as always, a pain but I got through it. I did find it rather annoying that they made me wait an hour to see financial aid when I do even use it and all the asked me was if I paid cash! Of course I pay cash, what else would I pay in? SO rediculous. Tuesday and Wednesday were my first days of classes. They went really well and I seem to like all my new teacher {the few new ones that I have (Philosophy and Statistics)}. Thursday was went well and today has gone pretty we'll except for the fact that my French class was cancelled and I didn't know about it because I hadn't checked my school email before I went to bed or this morning {sighs} Icould have stayed in my room until 11. That makes me feel so lazy thought. I like getting up and doing things in the morning.
This week is going to be saved for homework, well, what little I'll be able to do since I have to go to work tomorrow until 7:30-12, then at 4 I need to pick up Bri at school and she needs to pack things to take back up, plus we need to go to Wal Mart, Verizon, and AT&T. We're not going to get done until late {cries}. That'll leave me night time to study. Sunday I have to go to Mass, then TH, then back home to break until about 7, then head back up to SMWC. Then I get to study some more. It definetely feels like a school time again.

Lil Sis and I have been having a great time. We took a walk last night and went to the cemetery. It was so interesting seeing how many Sisters, there were. Lil Sis and I tried to find the oldest ones but we could only find ones going back to the mid-1800's. There had to have been some that were earlier than that but we couldn't find them. On the way back we did see an owl in the distance and I think Lil Sis saw a bat in the grave yard.

Somethings you can't see though and Lil Sis and I joking say that we have a ghost named Casper in our room. The other night my phone started ringing all the time and no one was on it;my rosary feel off my desk; plus we were having trouble with several other things. It wasn't scary but kind of funny in a way. We have named our ghost Casper and I'm starting to think that maybe Casper is a kitty ghost with a lot of curosity :)


I talked to James right before I left to move. I feel so... not sure what to say here. I miss him.

Just Random

Kitten has been very busy getting ready to move back into college but I know have everything packed and ready to go. Unfortunately, I now only have five days until I move in, so I'm rather bored at the moment. Last Thursday was my last day of working with Alice, until next summer anyway. I'm stuck up front in the reception area instead of back with Alice on Saturdays like I used to be. I miss that.

Kitten has had a pretty mundane August. Other than the incident related in my last post, nothing really excititing happened. I kind of miss the adrenaline rush... and have been rather bored with out something major happening. I have not, however, gave up on my little project and have been researching/reading away;)

I think that I'm getting sick :( My throat is scratch and my head hurts a little. My father is really sick. Can barely talk, the poor guy. Hope I don't get that bad. I move in Sunday; I can't be sick. There will be too much to do.

Last Friday, my lil sis, her cousin J---, and I went out and did some major shopping. We had a lot of fun and we'll have to make sure that J--- comes with us more often.

My Lil Sis is going to be starting orientation soon :) Good luck!

Confession of a Kitten Part III

{Kitten sit in front of window watching the butterflies and hummering birds go by and reflecting on the past few weeks}

Kitten has been rather busy, too busy, and not all of it has been good type of busy. I think everyone nows that I am no longer seeing James. While this transition has been difficult for me, I don't think I realized just how difficult until just a few days ago.

I started seeing a new guy, "Alan," he was slightly younger than James, and much more of a player, more sophicated, more...everything. I thought he was what I needed. After the appropriate time passed, I figure I would have an open relationship with him. Preferrably with no string attached, but James made me realize that this isn't what I want.

While I have tried to convince everyone that Jame's and mine's relationship was pretty simple, there really was nothing simple about it. I am really in love with him and have been for some time. I wanted it to be just sex, excitment but it wasn't. Things might have started out pretty innocent and simple but they got complicated at some point and time.

For the sake of my lil sis's curosity, I'll go into a little, but not too much detail about "Alan." I met him last summer. He flirted, I firted that was pretty much it. Unlike, most of Jame's friends, I did seen him off and on the past year. James does not like him an he had always made that know. I think that may have been my reason for meeting him about three weeks ago. He called and asked if I wanted to have lunch. I didn't think it would hurt anything so I went and had a good time. Alan was easy to talk to, easy to be with but then again, aren't all players? Yes, I knew he seen alot of women and that he liked to party. He defintely lives life to the fullest. I thought that it would be fun to just flirt, live a little. I would never sleep with him. I have a rule to never be with someone until I have been dating them for a at least 6-8 months. If the guy won't wait...we'll there's plenty of fish in the sea right :)? Anyway, I knew that Alan wouldn't be bothering with me for long, I'm just not his type but there's nothing wrong with having a little innocent fun right?

Well James didn't like that idea. Not too sure how he found out about me seeing Alan but he did and two nights ago a two and half telephone lecture. While I don't care much for being lectured{who does?}, I'm glad he did call there were a lot of things that I didn't know about Alan. He's not the type of guy I want to be around nor should I. My lil sis said the other day that I had a bad habit of putting myself in danger where men are concerned. At first I didn't think so but on second thought, I'm starting to believe she's right. I have done some pretty stupid things where men are concerned. I'm going to try and stop that.

Speaking of making a resolution, I'm no longer planning on seeing guys who are older than 4 years. Other than having a job or being in college, having a car, having good health care/hygine, and decent looks that is all I'm looking for. While the list my seem long, I find it reasonably, espcially if I plan to have a future with him. Now my lil sis, does this make you feel better :)

Kitten's Views on Relationships

{Kitten struggles to sit up on velvet cushion. It was a long night and Kitten did not get much sleep. Besides being in pain from cramping, Kitten spent the better part of an hour redoing her post.}
This was not the post I had intended to right but after a talk with my Lil Sis I decided to change it. Relationships are hard work and to keep them going you need two things: trust and honest communication. It doesn't matter whether you have relationship with some one you live or someone over the internet. It also applies to both monogomous and open relationships. Without these two things the relationship will probably fall apart.
Trust, you would think, would be a given, but most people have problems with this in many different ways. Some have trouble trusting there partners with other people or visa-verse, their partners have trouble trusting them with other people. These people become jealous and start distrusting there partner {although, sometimes for good reason}. Others, like me, have problems trusting them with feelings, emotions, ect, and therefore do not open up. We "run" whenver we think that we might get hurt emotionally. We need to work through these problems though becaue living in a constant of doubting or "running" takes a toll on the relationship. No one wants to be bogged down in fear, doubt, and worrying.
I was in exclusive, near distance relationship for a year and one long distance-ish, open relationship for a year and half. I made the same trust issue trwice. I would not open up with my true feelings. I am not a jealous person by nature and I had no problems being in an open relationship where we both saw other people. I do however have trust hang ups when it comes to telling people my real feelings. I'm afraid that if I love someone { this only pretains to people I date not friends and family} that they'll hurt me. I think that had I been more with my feelings and truted them, my relationships might have ended better.
So how do you have trust? You have to have honest communication. This goes for whether you're in a monogomous or open relationship and expecially goes if you're in a long distance relationship. Communicating honestly means that you talk about everything that goes, keep you're partner informed, and tell them about how you're feeling. This does not just include how you feel about one another but how you feel about anything that affects you because if you feel strongly enought to let it bother then it will probably affect your relationhip sooner or later.
Honest communication is probably most crucial though when it comes to trust. If you have decided to be in a monogomous relationship but are going out with some one of the opposite sex, that you think your partner might be bother with, tell them. While you shoulde be able to see anyone you want, you need to let your partner know so that there is no hard feelings or suspcions. This also goes if you're feeling insecure. Tell the person that you're feeling insecure and ask what are the "rules, guidelines,whatever you wish to call it" of the relationship. If you're in an open relationship, the parties also need to tell one another what is going on. Don't hide the fact that you're seeing some one. Don't hide the fact that you're attracted to someone else. It is an open relationship so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. But if you don't tell you're partner you are seeing some one else and the they find out, then trust issues will start to be a problem. All in all both parties need to be communicate honestly or other wise one or both are going to be upset and the relationship most likely will not make it.
Probably the third important thing that you need in a relationship is forgiveness. Everyone is human and will make mistakes. Some will be little like forgetting to call one evening others will be big like cheating. Forgiveness sometimes easy to do and sometimes hard but it needs to be done. You shouldn't hold grudges. If you can't forgive them get out of the relationship. It won't do any one any good to go over and over an indescrition or mistake.

Kitten's Frisky Mood

{Kitten struts into blog merrily singing a little ditty that goes like this, "Kittens got a new secret, Kittens got a new secret"}

Some of my closer friends know my love for having a few secrets about myself. I like to keep at least one or two thing unknown, well...for my own little pleasure.

Yes, Kitten has a new secert and it's a really good one. While I was planning to reveal all here, I thought I'd wait a little while. I feeling a little frisky.

Actually I'm just a little too hyped up to sit here and type so bye-bye for now. {walks coyly out of blog with a little sassy mysterious swish to her oh so silkly tail}

A Non Dramatic Post

{Kitten frolicks around blog playful chasing her tail and revelling in this cool down we are currently having}

Kitten realizes that her past post have been rather on the dramatic side of late. In my defense I have been having problems but I'm sick of talking about me, well, atleast the unhappy me. God did not promise us a happy, fair life so I might as well suck it up and get over it. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.

I updated my goals. I had pretty much gotten through my last list made back in freshman year {highschool}. Here it is:

~Learn French fluently

~Study abroad

~Graduate College

~Become a CPA and/or CIA

~Do something I consider exciting

~Visit two countries I have not been to

~Fall in love

I've given my myself until 7-18-15 to complete this list. Let's see how it goes :)

School will be starting up in a 5 weeks! I so excited. I still have a lot to pick up but I'm starting to get things in order and organized. I just hope I can finish up my French book before class starts again. That reminds me. When classes start, probably the second or third day, I need to get in contact with my advisor and Monica so we can get things started.

That reminds me, I haven't posted in a while, so some may not know that my classes have been cancelled. I wasn't too happy about that but what really made me made was the fact that they didn't bother to send the email out until yesterday. I drove all the way into ISU, walked all the way to the build, and then, when I got to the room, found out the classes had been cancelled due to lack of enrollment. There were seven people in the class including me. I think they could have had it. If we cancelled classes at my college like that we would never have classes. I have had about four classes with seven or less people and I'll have three classes this coming term with less people.

My Lil Sis and I went out earlier this week and saw the 6th Harry Potter. It was good but I was a little distracted... we had a good time anyway. Christina was supposed to come with us but she was not able to come at the last minute.

Well Kitten better be getting to her kitty bed and counting mice in her dreams because it's way past his little feline's bedtime. See you next week.

{Kitten sits in front of window wondering how one gets to where they are and how does one deal with what they have become}

Now, I don't mean to sound dramatic here, but for the past few weeks I have had some pretty big internal changes that I'm not sure how to deal with. I asked my little Sis today what her younger self would have of herself know. Did she think she had changed all that much from when she was younger and, if so was it a good or a bad change. I posed the similar question to Aurora and got two very different answers. We'll I'm not at liberty to tell what she said but I was rather non commental on it when they asked me.

Honestly, most of the things that I have done, even some of the more wilder things, did not surprise me. It was not really out of character for me to do that. There are somethings though... I thought I was finally ready to talk about it but not yet, at least not openly. I just got off the phone with Aurora, both she an my lil sis know I'm righting a post tonight. My lil sis thinks that I'll reveal my secrete but after some thought, I realize yet, that I'm not quite ready. Aurora sensed my mood and told me that she was going to be writing something that I should look at. I refer my lil sis to Aurora's post. If there's anyone else reading this, I'm sorry but I'm afraid you'll have to wait.

Family Problems

{Kitten is tired and curled up in a ball on velvet cushion enjoying her last few days of freedom.}

Kitten had a very annoying day at work this morning. First off, two people came up and asked me if I was related to Doc. Well, yes I'm his daughter but no one is supposed to know that so I said no very politely and ignored them. I look a lot my father and they knew I was his daughter. The two people stood at the end of the hall and would occasionally look over at me{I was waiting for Doc to get out of the room to ask him something for Alice}I apparently look alot like AnneMarie too because I have had three people ask me this month if I was her. I see AnneMarie alot now since she moved back to Indiana and we don't like all that alike. I'm so sick of people talking about me. Don't they have anything better to do!

Alice obviously doesn't think I can hack being an accountant. She thinks that I should go into medicine too, "considering my relations." Well, I don't want to be a nurse, nor a doctor, nor anything else in the medical area. Why can't people just support my decision. I'm starting to get what I want figured out but I have all these people coming in and practically telling me I'm doing the wrong thing. I just want to be left alone and do what I think is right for me, is that so much to ask? I don't care if everyone in my family{with the exclusion of about two people} is medical. It's not for me. I like accounting and I like French. I'm good at it, why can't they accept that?

Kitten Work and Love

{Kitten is scurrying this way and that trying to multitask and failing mesieribly.}

My Econ class starts Monday and I have so many things to do. Thakfully I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have come to realize that alot of this drama between James and I is mainly my fault. When I don't have something that keeps me occupied most of the time then I get to thinking, which isn't always good. I think once I start my class and I'm busy most of the time I would have all this time to think.

But speaking of James, our relationship has changed somewhat, or maybe it is just starting to be the way we wanted it. This is an open relastionship. He sees other people and if the oppertunity persents itself I will too. When I was younger I never understood why people had open relationships. I do now. He has his own life and I have mine. Our circumstances do not premit it to have a normal relationship and of course we are both going to meet other people who we connect with. This relationship has always been open but rather one sided because I never really thought about me seeing anyone even though I knew he was seeing other people. I wasn't jealous but I felt it would be like cheating if I seen another guy.Ok, I'm telling myself I can see other people but deep down, honestly, I would still feel guilty. Damn it I don't want to feel this way... I don't want to be be in love. Life is so unfair and lying to yourself doesn't work:(

Not much else has been going on of late. I've been busy, Bri's been busy, Aurora you're always busy. We'll I'll talk to yu all next week :)

Kitten's Ramblings

This summer is going by so quickly, I'll be in summer classes starting July 13 through August 13. I shan't be posting too much because I'll have two classes.
This summer and last summer are so different. Last summer I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been doing and just living in the moment. I wasn't that emontional. This summer, though, has been the complete opposite. I haven't done all that much except study. I've been very very very emotional. I kind feel like I'm revisiting my mid teens. I hate this feeling. Hopefully when school starts and Lil Sis and I move into the dorm, life will take on some semblence of normalacy. Maybe? Right now my love life is in very strange life, my social life is pretty much just with Lil Sis, and my work life takes the majority of my time. {sighs}


Tomorrow's the 4th. I have thought about calling Cowgirl and seeing if she wants to go and see a movie but I just can't seem to get the least bit excited about it. I think I just want to stay home and read my new book.


I hope Lil Kitten-chan and I can go shopping next week. It will be our last chance for a month. She has work, I have classes. Can some one shoot this Kitten now and put her out of her meisery.

Kitten's Horrible Messed Up Day :(

{Kitten walks into blog with her tail dragging the ground. She walks right past her bowl of creme and velvet cushion to lay in the corner by herself}

Kitten has had a very very very very lousy day. I called ISU today and asked if they had ever recieved my application. The man oh so nicely informed me that it had been processed on the 15! I have been waiting and waiting for some sort of conformation for over half a month and nothing! Then when I activated my account and tried to login it wouldn't let me. I spent an hour with the damned things trying to get it to work.

Well, 11 o'clock rolls around and I'm still messing with the stupid thing when A---, wanting to know why I wasn't there to releive E--- for lunch. At this point, I was a very confused Kitten because I had no knowledge whatsoever of going to work in the office. I knew I had to do the medicine run, which I was going to start in Clinton and do backwards. At this point i was really pissed because I had many plans today and I still had to get my computer fisaco finished but I went to Rockville early anyway.

When I got there, E---- was all ready at lunch and G--- was manning the phones. So why did they think they needed me in there in the first place?! I had planned to pick up all lab work at 12:30 and come to Rockville but I went over to the Clinton office at 11:10 and they said that it wasn't ready, which I allready knew it wouldn't be. So at 12:30, I left Rockvile and went back to Clinton. E--- hadn't bothered to get all the many papers and whatnot together so I left billing office paper work Rockville. By the time I realized the error I was all ready in Clinto and didn't see a point in stopping by the billing office, which was a big mistake.

I got back to Rockville and tell A--- that I goofed. She told me that I had to make yet another trip back to Clinton to the billing office to get the papers because she needed info from those sheets today. So off I went back to Clinton and picked up the blasted papers and made my merry little way back to Rockville to give the papers to A---. After that I had to go back to Clinton, get mother and aunt, and go to Terre Haute.

I had some things I had to pick up for the dorm: a comforter, 3 drawer thingy, and sheets. I had picked up a pink table earlier that morning thinking that my comforter was going to be pink and purple. Well, when I got down there, they didn't have the one I wanted. I did, however find a very pretty lavender and blue one. Except I goofed again; I picked up full intead on twin so know I have to take it back. That not the only thing I have to return, though. There is no pink in this comforter and so the table won't match. I have to exchange it for a blue one. I repeat: It Has Not Been My Day :(

Kittens Updates

{Kitten is justing coming in from frolicking on this beautiful summer evening. There's a nice breeze, the humidity is down, and its just comfortable :) }

Kitten apologizes neglecitng her blog lately. Manything have been happening. Some good, some bad, and others juts annoying.

I suppose I say that Johnthan is no longer a problem. James said he had that he took care of it, whatever that means. I'm glad, I have to say, I was a little spooked but what's even more creepy is the fact that I might I have been in contact with him and didn't know it. James thinks he was talking to me via email, during my little project back in April. Oops :( Yeah, James gave me a lecture about how stupid that was and suffice to say he now knows all my sites. {Pouts and whine about lack of privacy}

Other then being lectured, James did talk to me about other things of the past few weeks. He apologized for his proposition. He said that he never meant to make me like a whore and that wasn't his attention. Actually, he said that out of his female acquantices that I was probably the most innocent. Know my Little Sis thinks I'm wordly but I know that Lady Aurora woud probably disagree.

I guess maybe I did feel a little strange at the offer but it wasn't the offer itself. It was the fact that I really wanted to take him up on it. I wanted to be his mistress. I wanted to be wild and uninhibited. I wanted, just once, to say yes instead of no. James did say that me turning down his offer actually made him respect me more, although he wished he could be with me more than one or two night everyother month.

I have now come to turns with my decision. My main problem was that I was looking at saying to his offer as a closed door but its not. By saying no I said yes to a more normal life. I might have a wilder and more lucrative time but I'll get to have all sorts of fun with my Lil Sis. We'll get to live together, go shopping, to events at school, meet guys, and just me normal college girls. I'm fine with that now. Besides, I lost focus for awhile. I once said that I would never let a man come between me and my friends and even though that was not what James ment to do, by any means, I would not have gotten to be with Little Sister much had I been James mistress.

Now, I did not come to this conclusion over the course of last week. Actually, had you asked me Friday if I was going to change my decision, I would have definetly said yes. I had planned to call James when Lil Sis and I got back but something happened. Lil Sis gave me the prettiest little fan she bought at the faire. While at first, I only looked how pretty it was in the car and my only thought was that on annoyance because I couldn't have gone and watched Lil Sis get hit on by a bunch of girls, something dawned on me later that night while looking at it. The fan shows two geshia girls both looking at the fishes in a pond and both very pretty. They are also different. One is staring directly in the pond with a mostly blue with some pink robe. She looks coy; likess she's hiding a secret and musing about it. The other girl is in mostly pink with some red. She looking at the fishes, her hands half hiding her face;likes she daydreaming about her new found lover. These two represent Lil Sis and I but it was not just the dress and the way the looked, it was the the whole unseen sceme that seemed to be around. One hiding a secret and the ther blushing innocent at the thought of her new love interest. I then started to wonder what I would have painted the next picture as{well, if I could paint} The first thing that came to mind was the two girl geshia girls laughing under a cherry blossom tree or with there family. I didn't think of putting them with there respective lovers and that's when it dawned on me. I didn't really want to move away from my family and best Lil Sis, if I had been ready I would have thought about the two geshia with their paramour, right off the bat. {Yes, I'm being a little dramatic here and you must remember, that this musing took place. Now see Little Sis, you were apart of my decision making and didn't even now it:) }

My Goodbye

{Kitten is curles up in a little ball sad and wondering...}

Kittens feels very alone today, not literally, but mentally and emotionally. A dear friend helped me see that I did not like where my life was going and what I might become if I went down that path. Seeing what I have lost and what I have gained in exchange saddens and dissapoints me. I'm disgusted with myself and I think its going to be awhile before I'll trust myslef again, concerning men anyway.

There nothing I can do about the past but I will not repeat the same mistakes over. I want a normal life, with normal drama {whatever that is}. No more clandestined meetings, covered days, or lying in general. I have gained some foresight from my last two years into... but now it's time to move on, cut ties, and live a normal life.

I've said this before but this time I really mean it. I'm not mad at anyone, I'm not sad because of anyone person. I just feel it's time to let go...

My Infuriating Day

{Kitten paces restlessly and anxiously about blog, jumping at every little sounds she hears}

How is it that things can be perfectly fine and oh so nicely boring and the next day, wham!, complications abounds. I hate drama!

Little Kitten-chan and I went out last night and had a perfectly good time until the storm. Then I had to practically pull Little Kitten out from under the car seats {there there Little Kitten, everythings all right :) } We had quite a little storm. I thought the lightening was rather beautiful and poetical but no apparetnly agreed with me. Well, anyway, Little Kitten-chan spent the night and we had a lovely game of Battle of the Sexes with someone special to my little sis ;)

Today started out well but went quickly down hill. I was a little grumpy and everything that my father said to me was like nails on a chalkboard {I detest that sound}. Then, we I got home and was able to check my email I found a rather cryptic message from someone I known, whom shall hence be called Johnthan. He said that he wanted to talk to me about something and asked if I could call him at 8 pm my time. Now, I'm not in the mood a mystery today and was rather annoyed by such a vague letter practically demanding me to contact him at his convince. At first I was going to ignore it but then decided to go ahead and call so I could tell him off.

Now, before I proced, I shall give a very brief tale of how I know this man. It was during my 1st term in October that I first met him. James had me come with him to NY. It was one of the few times I was able to get away for the weekend. {You know, its really heard to try and come up with a plusable story that both friends, family, and work will buy} That Saturday, he took me to a party to some of his friends. I have never been all that crazy about crowds, two to five is usually my comfort level, but there were a lot of people there. I knew no one there so I was pretty much glued to James side. We got into a large group and I lost him. So here I was, all alone in this crowd when a very nicely dressed, tall and imposing man comes up to me{ I descripe him as very well looking and he is but... there is something about him ... } He starts to talk and makes me feel slightly more comfortable. We finally found out way out of the crowd and set down. He talked and flirited with me for about 5 minutes until James found me. I was relieved to see him because even though Johnthan had made me feel less anxious around other people, I felt the need to be on my guard while I was with him. James, obviously did not like him, and he did admit that he knew him but refused to tell me how or anything about him. As a matter of fact James told me not to speak to him again and we left the party soon after wards. I brought Johnthan up again but he refused and still does refsue to tell me anything about him. All James would say is to stay away from him because he's not a good guy.

After that night, I have never had any contact with Johnthan again nor desired to and once my annoyance and temper wore off began to wonder. What did he want and a better question still, how did he get my new number? I've only had this phone for about 2 weeks. I tried to get a hold of James to ask him what this might be about but couldn't. I am too much of a scardy cat to call him. I thought maybe I should wait and see what James has to say.

My Mysterious Friday Night

{Kitten emerges from her walk outside and settles down on velvet cushion, ready to tell the readers of her mysterious night Friday}

Well, Friday did not start out the best that great. I was feeling rather grumpy and out of sorts, not to mention I could not do anything right. Little Sis and I were supposed to go out but both of us had unforseeable problems. She had work and I had an appointment. I was a little upset{not at anyone in particular, just life} when James called. He was rather cyrptic and said that he was coming to see me.

He picked me up at 9:30 and we went to where he was staying, which was about an hour and half away. We just caught up in the car. He was making me both curious and nervous because he still had mention the reason for his impromtu trip. We got to his hotel and we ordered room service. For awhile, we just ate in companionable silence but I could tell there was something on his mind. I wanted to ask but was afraid too. While we're just friends now, I was afraid there was something something he was hidding from me.

About half way through diner, he started to ask how I had been feeling and if there was anything new that I wanted to tell him. Well, at first, I was rather annoyed and thought that he was the one who seemed to be hiding something not me. After all, he was the one to call this little tete-a-tete. He waited for my answer and when I told him that everything was fine and nothing note worthy had happened in the last week and half he looked at me a little exasperated.

We finished dinner and desert but he still kept looking at me rather oddly. Finally, he just blurted out "Are you pregnant?" I couldn't help it, I just started laughing. That was what he had been so concerned over. After I had finished laughing at his expense I relieved him with the news that he was not to be a daddy anytime soon, unless he knew something that I didn't:) In truth, Kitten is certain she is not expecting any wee little one's is because she is on her time of the month{unfortunately, sighs}.

After James realized that he was not going to have to go out and buy cigars anytime soon, he laughed about it himself. To be fair to him, if you didn't know me on a personal basis, you might of thought I'd the signs of pregnancy too. I was a little upset to my tummy but that not unusal for me. Anything too greasy and my stomach rebels. I was also moody but in my defense I was PMSing.

I did ask him what he would had done if I had been pregnant. He knows I'm very pro-life so he knew better than to bring that up. He said that he would have taken over financial support of the baby and me. We both knew and still know that marriage is not an option for either of us but he said that he would have been apart of his/her life. {Sighs staring out window wondering what might have been and afraid to think of what will be}

Once that was sorted out we had a nice time talking. Unfortunately, I had to get back home because I had to be in at work at 8. I didn't get any sleep whatsoever:(

Welcom Kitten's Little Sister!

{Kitten is jumping all about blog in excitment} Bri-chan posted her first post:) Yeahhhh! I'm happy that my best friend is on blogger but that is the only thing that has gone right today.
My New Cell
I had to get a new cell phone today. My Verizon Venus just would not work with me. {Kitten sighs and curses that she is technicologically challenged} Well, I ended up with an IPhone, which wasn't what I wanted and I didn't think I'd like it but, surprising, I think I will. I can do so much more with this thing than I could my other one. It took me an hour or so to get the hang of it but it was faster than getting it. Because of various problems, I was in the store for almost two hours{cries :( }
It's Kittens Time
I started today:( I was not happy and I felt not so good for the rest of the afternoon. Why are periods so inconvient? It comes with so many problems: bloating, fatigue, aching, cramps, ect.
It's not so fun.
The Purse Disappointment
{Kitten falls back on velvet cushion with disgust after her morning shopping trip with mother} I just do not like the purse styles they have out. I went to Macy's, ElderBeerman, JCPenny's, and Kohls and could not find anything. It's so flustrating to go out shopping and not find what your looking for. I did, however find two very pretty necklaces at Macy's that I got, which easied the pain some.
Book, Books, Books
Over the past few days I have not been able to concentrate on anything. My mind is like a bouncy ball; it jumps from one idea to the next in seconds. I have been able to focus on a book. Actually I read Sin of a Wicked Duke by Sophie Jordon Saturday. The plot wasn't overly complex and the characters are not developed as fully as they could be but it was still an excellent read. The story was interesting and it had some really amusing parts. Plus, the more intimate scenes were deliciously steamy;) Really, I don't think could have stayed focuses on anything too complex. I'm also reading another interesting book called Pardon My French by Charles Timoney. It's not a novel. It tells the readers about important words that the readers might want to know if they wish to learn the language fluently and talk like everyone else. Very amusing, informative, and helpful.

An Odd Day

{Kitten streches out in front of window as the birds go flying by. Thinking...}

Kitten is in an odd mood today. Nothing bad happened today but something is off. I hate this feeling. It's not restlesness or discontenment; it's just there.

Of Religion

I have been reflecting though, on religious matters{rubs tail over head to try and rid herself of her headache} I've been feeling rather guility about the way my life has been going. I'm sure it's not what God wants but is it wrong for me not to regret what I've done. After all, if we didn't make mistakes, how would we ever learn.

Besides, it was may mistakes that have made me who I am. There are a few people (no, not you Bri) that would agree that the person I am now isn't that great. Some might even argue that I have completely turn away from the Catholic faith.

First off, I have made my mistakes and I do consider them mistakes, although, I don't regret making them. I say this because over the past year I have become much more open minded about things and have come to respect other people's opinion, even though I may not agree with them. After all, somewhere in the New Testament, Christ did say, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I have no right to judge others and there actions anymore than they do me. They only person I should be judging is myself because I can only answer for myself. Being around James and the people he knew made me see that I can still like people, be friends with them, even though we do not have the same beliefs. In my research with mistresses{ and escorts}, I started to see even more clearly, that people are so uniquely individual and are motivated by some many different things{and not all ways the obvious things either} that no one is truly good or truly bad. Another thing my research, and well my own predicament showed me, was that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Your best and oh so innocent, life-long friend my be a mistress to a unkown man; While an escort/ prostitute/ courtesan might be motivated by reasons other than the obvious. You never know what drives people; why they think the way they think, why they do the things they do, why they make the mistakes that they make. Ww need to think anout things like this but not judge what they do. Who's to say we haven't done worse?

So, how does this relate back to my afore mentioned topic of religion? Because of my experinces, I have leanred atleast one valuable lesson and hopefully, this will help make me a better Catholic. I have lost my way and I need to find my way back now but somethings are not that simple. Somethings take a lot of time and this will.

At the Courthose...

On a more annoying note, I was at the court house today taking taxes up for my father and his wife on numerous properties that they hold. While I was wating for the girl to finish up, I noticed she kept looking at me off and on. After a while she leaned over to the other woman, put the paper she was working on over her mouth to try and sheild her words, and asked her if I was his daughter. The other woman nodded. This rather annoyed me. She could have at least waited until I was out of the building to ask, or atleast after I had left the desk and not right in front of me. I'm not bothered by the fact that they knew who my father was, I look like him. I have his face structure, eye color, and hair color. I don't even care that people know I'm his bastard daughter, I just wish people showed more courtesy{sighs} people have no manners.

The Mysterious Encounter

{Kitten scurries into blog, slipping and sliding as she goes in her haste.}

I was supposed to tell about my about my night with Christina, and I shall, but I must tell you about an interesting and unsettling experience that I had earlier this afternoon.

Breaha and went out for a walk at about 6ish. Sportland Park was so full so we decided to go to Sacared Heart. There were a few highschool guys there but we didn't pay them any attention and they didn't pay us any attention. We stayed there for about 45 minutes but Bri-chan started to feel sick, so we left. We walked down the alley which is rather on a steep hill. At the botton, we meet a white big Mercury(I think) and it had three rather good looking guys in probably, their early to mid twenty. They stopped the car when they seen us. I first thought that they were just letting us by. Then, the one guy in the back sit stuck his head out the window, waved me with his hand, and told me to come here. I just stared at him. I had a really uneasy feeling. He told me to come here again. I ran over to Bri and we went on. The guys didn't say anything again but procedded up the alley.

Bri didn't think it was such a big deal but it freightened me. The way he looked at me, the way he commanded me... I got this really bad vibe. I didn't now then and if they wanted directions or something, why not just ask me from where I was standing, I was close enough, they wouldn't have had to yell. Actually, the guy was so quite that Bri didn't even here him. There was no reason why I had to come up to the car. So, with that and the bad vibe, could their intentions have been less then honorable?

On the other hand, none of the guys in the car, including the one who spoke to me, said anything crude. He didn't try to get out of the car when I ran across the street. So maybe my imgination and shyness got the better of me? In this case, I'm glad I'll never find out.

An Extremely Tired Kitten

{Kitten tries so very hard to keep her little eyes open but it is all to no avail. Falls down in front of keyboard but scurries to type memo}

Kitten had a very interesting time at Christina's but I'm just tuckered out to tell you all that was a foot. I was up until 4 am

{Kitten trips, falls off keyboard, makes it over to velvet cushion and falls fast asleep.}

A Rather Mellow Day for Kitten

General

Kitten has decided to start blogging a little earlier. I've been waiting till closer to night-time and have been putting off ma francais, which is not the way to learn it:)

{Kitten yawns and streches her little back and legs. "So tired"} I really don't have that much to write today.

Let's see, my father is insisting that I take a medical terminology course. I know the reason why, but, come on, I'm an accouting major. I could be using that time to work on more important things.

James

I got a call and an email from James last night. He wants to see me. I'm so torn. This is over and I just wish he would let it go. He has several girlfriends, who are all more his taste. Our relationship just doesn't work and never will. He's the reason why Kitten got no sleep last night. I miss him. Would some one please hit me and tell to grow up? While I told my story of how we meet and what we did last summer, I never said why and how we ended it. Maybe later this week.

Readers

Kitten is surprised. She seems to have a few readers. Over the past few weeks I have recieved some very interesting emails and thanks for your interest. Well, welcome thanks for reading and feel free to email or comment. {Kitten rubs against visitors}

French

Getting back to my French homework, which is what I really should be doing, I'm rather running behind. Too many workbooks and not enough time{sighs} I wish there was actually a French class I could take but unfortunately there isn't. I have negelected my other blog, which happens to be in French. I will right a post in it tonight.

News

will be posted tonight

Kitten's Emotional Ponderings and The Project

{Kitten is sitting dejectedly by her window, with the rain pouring down outside. She starts singing, "Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day.}

Kitten is thoughtful today. Breaha was happy that I shared my secret with her. She read the post where I was a little annoyed with her about three weeks back. I thought that I had taken the post down but I apparently, didn't. She felt bad and I do have to apologize because she wasn't the only person I was mad at the that day. In my numerous English Comp classes, I was always taught that the reader will usually remember what the last point/arguement is more than the others because it is the last thing that he reads. Well, Breaha was the last person that day to upset me so, I took all my flustrations out on her. Sorry Bri.

It did start me to think though. Everyone handles their emotions in a different way. Some are very honest(at times brutually honest) and show and tell whatever their feelings are. Others, let some of their emontions out but keep some back. There are some who hide their emontions and find other ways to release them (like me, through writing). Finally, there are people who just don't deal, with their emontions at all.

I envy the people who just tell it like it is. They may care about the other person and not want to her their feeling but they still tell them when their mad/sad/upset. In the end, it is this type of person who probably has the best relationship. They don't let problems fester. They just get it out there in the open and deal with it. Bri, I put you in this catagory and I so envy you. {Kitten pouts and swishes her tail, annoyed at herself}

Many people fall into the catagory of letting some emotions out but still hiding others. This is probably the second best way to deal with emotions. Tell what you're feeling most of the time but allow little and secrecy with some things. The only probably with hiding emotions is that they have a tendency to fester and agitate as time goes on.

Now here we are to my catagory. Yes, I'm one of those people who don't deal with emotions that much on the surface. I have trouble sometimes, expressing myself verbally. I do deal with my emotions though, by writing. This, however, is not the only way to get emotion out. Some work with music, others are into the arts. In my little opinion, this is not the best way to deal with things but it works. The biggest draw back is that the person(s) bother you might never know that your upset. Therefore problems are not always solved.

Finally, there are people who just do not deal with emotion/feelings at all. This is always very, very bad. You need to get emotions out in one way or another. Whether it is by telling the person directly, by talking to someone outside the situation, or by writing, music, danse,ect. The people who are upsetting you don't know you're hurt and you have these feelings that just don't go away becuase they are not being resolved.

My Little Project

Now, moving on to other things I have been working more on my summer research project on the sex industry, primarily, escorting. I have read many interesting comments from people on the subject but I stumbled upon a blog that really touched me. It was about a woman who is a mistress. She just blogged about her trials of seperating her emotions from her "work" and clients. In a strange way, I can relate to her, but not on her level, exactly. I have never been an escort or a mistress(although...Bri, be quite, I know what you're about to say;). The way I could relate to her was that she had everything but was still dissatified. I have a lot of things but it never seems to be enough. There's all ways something out there I want and at times, I don't even know what it is. Most peopel feel that way, though, so I'm not quite in the boat alone.

The thing I found most interesting about the blog was that she kept saying how liberating it was to be an escort. She didn't need the money, although I'm sure the money was a driving factor. It was the thrill, the excitiment, the rush. She was doing something taboo, saying to hell with society, and being completely independent. I wish I had her courage. It's too bad she hasn't updated her blog in about four years. It would have been really good

To Breaha: Confessions of a Kitten

{Kitten raises her cute little furry head at the sound of a familar footfall and get's up to give her best friend attention. Purring and rubbing up againt Bri with welcoming attention}

Kitten went to her best friends graduation today. Breaha has been one of my best friends since I can remember. We have went through a lot of things together (first crushes, first loves, breakups, other friends, family problems) but I realized that I have a whole another life that Breaha doesn't know about, or atleast not much.

Well, Bri, here's my sordid little story;) Now before I begin my narrative I need to state somethings. There are many thing that I have done that I'm not proud of. I know you're not religous but I try to be. A lot of what I have done I regret mostly for religous reasons and is the main reason why I have ended things with James. I don't want to feel like a hypocrite anymore. I know that you don't agree with a lot of the Catholic dogma and doctrine but I know that you know the importantance of following your conscience and doing what you, not other people believe what is right. These are all my dirty little secrets. Now we are even. No secrets between friends:)

The Meeting

As you know Bri, James and I met in Chicago at the Palmer House. I wa 18 and he was 42 but I didn't know it at the time. Actually, I orginally had his age at about 35. I was bored and mom had already went to bed but it was only 8 pm. Not ready to turn in I went down to the pool. James was the only one down there, we wound up talking. I'm not going to bore you with the maundane details of what we talked about. He asked me to dinner the next day and I went. Mom always goes to bed so early it was easy to slip away unnoticed. We exchanged cell phone numbers and email address.

Nothing happened for all most a year. My senior was innocent, pretty much. I had my little fling with Brian and we both now how that tunred out. Actually, it was James who pushed me to break with him. When I told James how Brian acted when I mentioned him, James got very concerned and told me that Brian sounded too dangerous for me. He was really there for me when I was going through that break up. Not that you weren't their for me, Bri{Kitten gives Breaha a big hug}. It's just that you both were there for me in differen ways.

What I Really Did Last Summer

Things really started to heat up between James and I last summer, after I had gone through those damned summer classes. I was feeling a little lost and I was a little out of control, although you never seen me when I was like that. No one ever knew that I was sneaking off to see a guy between my shopping trips with you and my long days at home. I was surprised, I thought I would be found out. It seemed so exciting.

It was in July that I first started sleeping with James. Before him, I had never really cared that much about sex but with James it was so tender and erotic. I was confident in himself which made me confident. When the guy feels unconfortable with the way he looks or performs then it makes me uncomfortable also. I'm not going to overshare here but suffice to say that he really brought me out of my shell where the bedroom is concerned.

We also went places together. He took me to England, France, and Mexico. Remember when everyone kept asking me if I would nervous when I left at Christmas to go to Mexico for Intercambio. Everyone thought that it was the first time out of the country{Kitten smiles mischievously} it wasn't, which was why I wasn't nervous. That and James was at the Cancun airport to meet me.

You might me asking yourself, "How did she manage to do this?" Well, it wasn't that hard really. While we(you and I) went out once a week, there were a few weeks inbetween where we didn't go out. It was during those few weeks that I went off globe trotting. As for mom, I told her some lame story that she knew was a lie but I was of legal age (19) and she just trusted that I knew what I was doing.

But wait. I said I went a little wild and having a little tete-a-tete with an older man isn't all that while. {Ok Bri, I know your shaking your heading and disagreeing with me but be a good audience and play along;) } It didn't do anything all that wild guess. I did get pretty close to being drunk a few times. I flirted (playfully, mind you) with a few very handsome men, who, rumor has it, have very shady pasts. I also did something else but I feel so ackwarded saying it which I don't know why. It's actually really funny. Maybe I'll tell you in private. It was what I considered one of my most wildest things I have done;)

All right Bri, there it is, with the exception of one little thing, here are all my secrtes. Rereading what I wrote, it doesn't sound all that exciting but I'll leave the judgement up to you.

{Kitten flicks her tail in goodbye and dissapears around the corner.}